go f yourself.

i'm not sure why this thought came up in my mind but i was wondering if people with ptsd usually suffer from imposter syndrome.. "Trauma-induced imposter syndrome can occur no matter your accomplishments. Most of us experience it from time to time, a belief that we are just not good enough or worse, a fear of being “found out” as a fraud.Jan 15, 2024" so i'm slowly beginning to learn why i said and did a lot of shit that i did. thanks to my immature parents who should've never reproduced in the first damn place until they were mature enough to safely have children. selfish dicks. i know you might be saying, "HOW CAN SHE CALL HER PARENTS SELFISH DICKS?! IF IT WEREN'T FOR THEM, SHE WOULDN'T BE HERE!" true.. i also wouldn't have had to go through all the surgeries and abdominal pain i sustained. i AM aware that neither parent is MORE guilty or innocent than the other. i grew up thinking my mom was beat by my dad and she was the innocent one until i had my bowel surgeries and reminiscant dreams of my dad kicking me and my mom holding me up in front of my dad when he kicked her to use my body as a shield while nanchalantly trying to make it seem like she was trying to show him WHY he should calm down. YEAH!! MY HUSBAND IS ANGRY (PROBABLY DRUNK) AND VIOLENT! YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE SMART TO DO?! BRING MY TODDLER DAUGHTER INTO THE QUARREL SO AT LEAST SOMEONE WILL ACTUALLY CARE THAT I'M GETTING BEAT ON! I DON'T CARE IF IT ENDANGERS HER JUST AS LONG AS I LOOK LIKE A VICTIM AS USUAL!!.. i find it mildly amusing that my mom has NEVER challenged my memories and/or denied any my memories.. MAYBE BECAUSE SHE KNOWS IT'S TRUE?! it's too fuckin late to deny any of this happened, jackass. like my bowel just decided to perforrate by itself and later get blocked for fun by itself?! just gives me more motivation to cut your selfish ass off. your selfish ass has traumatized me enough. go traumatize your other daughter. i'm done with you. your flying monkey better mind her damn business because i'm realizing the LACK of care coming from her and it changes my opinion on her for her convenient LACK of empathy for me while she's taking the abuser of an aunt's side.